Something Borrowed
by Ninja C
Summary: In which a person is the thing borrowed, cakes come with all kinds of surprises, and Petunia acts like a human being. Oneshot.


**Something Borrowed**

**I've really wanted to write a Petunia-wedding story for a while now, but I only just got this idea. On an unrelated note, it's SUPER cold in this room.**

**Italics signify the past. Shocker.**

**Disclaimer: I was not on Oprah three days ago.**

James Potter stood next to Vernon Dursley, looking rather itchy as he fiddled with his bow tie. Lily wasn't sure whether she wanted to laugh or smack him. She was currently feeling as though she should go back in time and slap _herself_.

"_Lily, we need another groomsman, or there'll only be four of them and five of you bridesmaids. Do you know anyone to do it?" Petunia requested two weeks before the wedding._

"_Sure. I think I know someone who'll be willing…"_

Why couldn't she have owled Frank Longbottom? He was perfectly nice, and probably a passable dancer. Or what about Amos Diggory? Responsible, respectful…

But she'd really had no idea who to invite (she didn't keep with males too terribly often), so she just owled the first person she thought of. This happened to be James Potter, who had just sent over his owl with an update of his summer (and who she just _happened_ to be thinking about quite a bit). They'd been keeping a correspondence to drive away the boredom, and found that they actually got on quite well.

So James Potter had met her outside the chapel earlier that morning, looking quite uncomfortable in a suit jacket and tie. Lily had smiled, ogling him a _tiny_ bit. But James didn't say a word, not a "How are you?" or a "Why is your cousin running about with his hair on fire?" – come to think of it, she'd never found out about Robert's spontaneous combustion – so Lily just led him into the church.

"_How was your summer?"_ she finally choked out, unable to stand the awkwardness anymore. And then she regretted it, for they had been sending letters half across England the whole bloody holiday talking about just that!

"_It was all right, I s'pose,"_ James estimated, and Lily felt a stab of panic that she was supposed to respond. How was _she _supposed to compare with that big, deep voice? Suddenly she couldn't quell her violent blush.

"_Lily!"_ Petunia yelled, rushing over. _"Stop blushing! You'll throw off your complexion!"_

"_Calm down, Tuney,"_ Lily soothed, taking her sister's hands. _"The wedding is going to be fine."_

"_That's just it, though!"_ Petunia shrieked, looking close to tears._ "Mark and Laura ran off!"_

"_The best man? With your friend?"_ Lily clarified, slowly feeling the horror that her sister was experiencing.

From behind her, James cleared his throat. _"If I may," _he interjected, seemingly unconsciously placing his hand on Lily's left shoulder. _"I'd be happy to take his place. Dunno what you're going to do about Laura, though."_

Petunia took herself in check at the appearance of a stranger. _"You're James?"_ she guessed, and James nodded. Petunia held out her hand. _"It's nice to meet you. We don't need another bridesmaid, thanks to you. That'll make four men and four women, and all we need is symmetry."_ Lily looked up at James and nodded in confirmation of her sister's obsessive need for order.

James took her hand and shook it. Lily put in, _"Well, Tuney, you'd better get to dressing. Come on, James, I'll show you what to do."_

They went their separate ways. _"She's quite nice,"_ James declared. _"Not at all how you'd painted her back in first year."_

"_She's grown up, I suppose,"_ Lily explained. _"So have I. No more magic around Petunia. Magic _people_, certainly, but that's all. Even Vernon knows, so no funny business today."_

"_I take it that's her husband-to-be?"_ Lily nodded. _"It's funny, I thought she'd be angry at me for suggesting that a stranger be the best man."_

"_Oh, all she needs is appearances, Petunia does," _Lily confided, and then beckoned his head closer to her mouth. _"She and Vernon combined don't have enough friends to fill in the gaps anyway,"_ she whispered, and James laughed.

Lily left him standing with Vernon and his groomsmen (all relatives) at the altar, and sat in a pew with _The Unicorn-Sage Treatise_, which she had cunningly Transfigured to look like a Bible, completely ignoring the men's explanation to James of what to do. Upon finishing her chapter, Lily bookmarked the page and looked up, only to meet eyes with James, who was distinctly bothering Vernon with his lack of attention. Lily had blinked, tried mightily to suppress a blush, and walked to the back of the church to prepare for the procession, as people had begun to arrive.

Having come full circle in her thoughts, Lily slowly emerged from her reverie, trying to figure out where they were in the ceremony. She looked up, toward Petunia, and locked eyes with James, a little past her. He looked at her quizzically, and she realised that her mouth was still slack. She closed it quickly, blushing yet again.

Then she noticed people were applauding, and the wedding party receded down the aisle to take photos.

"So, not too bad, eh?" Lily, on tiptoes, whispered in James' ear as Vernon and Petunia tittered away in front of the camera in the next room.

"It was all right," James conceded, grinning at her and making her heart flip. "Be a lot more exciting if we had a flock of pixies roaming about, though."

Lily smacked his chest, and he hissed with laughter. "Sirius better not be around," she warned. "You'll give him _ideas_."

"Maid of honour and best man?" the photographer called, and Lily and James stepped into the room.

"Now, you, sit on his lap," the photographer directed, pointing while changing lenses on his camera. Any trace of laughter still on their faces vanished instantly. Lily gingerly sat down on James' leg.

"Centred," the man demanded, and Lily grudgingly scooted. "Better. Now smile for Paolo. Smile!"

As if sensing Lily's current inability to express anything but discomfort, James snaked his arms around her waist and immediately began to tickle her.

What he didn't see coming was Lily's screech of laughter and the squirming she would proceed to carry out. James let out a bark of laughter and tightened his grip around her so she wouldn't fall, only to tickle her more intensely.

"Perfect, perfect!" Paolo exuded, clicking madly. "Bring out that lovely blush in her cheeks!"

Lily's cheeks were indeed pink, as well as tearstained from her leaking eyes.

"STOP STOP STOP," Lily demanded, whacking James anywhere she could while still defending herself.

"All right, now STOP!" Paolo demanded, at a much higher decibel level than Lily's feeble shrieks. James obliged, shirking down like a naughty schoolboy, and Lily took the time to quell her shaking shoulders. "Pretty picture," Paolo decided. "Now make a content face, go on."

James again put his arms around Lily's waist, and Lily jumped a bit before realising that they were only going to smile at the lens, which they proceeded to do. She leaned her head onto the top of James' a few shots in, and after a few more Paolo dismissed them.

They decided to walk the mere block to the reception building, instead of guess-Apparating and scaring the Muggle-folk. Lily pried off her shoes mid-step, digging through her bag.

"You'll cut your feet," James warned, eyeing the dirty road.

"First off," Lily replied, still rummaging, "I am a witch. And secondly, I just need to find my other shoes anyway."

James cocked his head, contemplating something, and then shrugged. "Too late," he said as he swept Lily's legs out from under her, and she gave a choked yell as her back met his other arm. "A bridal carry for a bridal day," James teased as Lily kicked her feet uselessly in the air.

"Put me down, you berk! We're almost there!"

"Less reason for you to complain, then!" James retorted, kicking open the door and setting Lily down upon the carpeted floor.

Lily blew her hair out of her face, straightening her dress. "_Thank_ you," she spat, snatching her bag from James' arms. "I'll be needing that." And she vanished into the bathroom.

Ten minutes later, Lily's hair was done fancifully (thank you, magic), her makeup was touched up, and she sported flats (thank you, God) and a breathtaking short emerald evening gown. She knew it was breathtaking from the way the first thing she had to say to James was, "James, _breathe_."

James let out a shaky breath that made Lily have to physically clench her fists to keep from dancing about the room in girly glee. "Lily, you look… oh, Merlin, _wow._"

Thank all of wizardkind Lily's old neighbour Clara saw her at that moment, because she might have forgotten how to speak otherwise.

"Lily! Is that you?"

"Clara!" Lily shrieked, and the two ran into a goofy girl-type hug, leaving James standing bewildered a bit away. "Excuse me," Lily pardoned to James, leading Clara off to a table.

"How have you _been_, Lils?" Clara demanded. "I haven't seen you since we were… what were we, fourteen."

"If I recall," Lily agreed. "Well, I've been at boarding school, so. My presence around home is a bit scarce. You look lovely, by the way."

Clara floofed her plum-coloured gown. "Thank you. So do you! Much better than me." Before Lily could shake her head and refute it, Clara leaned in and added, "And _he_ obviously thinks so, too."

Though Lily fought it, she couldn't suppress the grin sneaking quickly up her face. Clara's face lit up in turn. "_You're together!" _she hissed, clapping her hands to her face, and the flash of her purple nails reminded Lily. She began shimmying her wand out of her bag beneath the table while shaking her head, the smile slipping off.

"No?" Clara asked, disappointment tingeing her tone. Lily surreptitiously prodded her wand to each of her nails, changing them from blue to green, as her friend went on, "But you like him."

Lily nodded slowly, unable to deny it. A small lump began to form in her throat as she realised the truth of Clara's statement: they _weren't _together, no matter how much it seemed like they were right now. She had almost completely deluded herself only today.

Stuffing her wand back into the bag, Lily stood up. "I'm sorry, but I've just remembered something," she excused herself, trying not to let her voice crack. Clara waved her approval, and Lily left.

From a few tables away, Lily saw James stand up and make to come over to her, but she diverted her path to avoid him.

"Lily!" James tripped over a plastic chair. "Lily, what's wrong?"

Lily, who had sped up, went into a side hallway and dashed behind the first door she saw. Which happened to lead to a storage closet. Fantastic.

Just as she let herself go, let her feelings spill out of her eyes, the door was flung open, and Lily groaned in defeat. It was too late to stop the tears.

"Lily," James sighed, stepping into the closet and closing the door for some privacy. He wrapped his arms around Lily, who not for the first time that day wondered that they could be so warm and strong. "What's the matter?" he inquired, spots of light from a ventilation shaft shining off his glasses.

"Nothing," Lily sobbed into his shirt. "It's stupid." She pulled back from his embrace. "I'm getting your shirt all soiled."

"Hmm? Oh." James did nothing about this. "Whatever it is, Lily, it's not stupid."

Lily shook her head, wiping her eyes. "Well, I'm not going to tell you. Just so you know."

James nodded understandingly, and much to her surprise, leaned in and kissed her forehead. Immediately the tears sprang back to her eyes, and she coughed to cover it up. Alarmed, James brought her close again, and Lily wished she had some tissues.

There were some on the shelf at eye level. "Oh, convenient." She grabbed one and blew her nose noisily, but the crying didn't stop. James pulled her down to the floor, where they sat next to each other for five minutes, Lily sobbing irrationally. She recognised how stupid she was being, crying over a boy who was sitting right next to her, but as is the case with most expulsions of bodily fluids, crying's harder to stop than it is to start.

Bad analogy? Sorry.

When Lily's sobs died down, James handed her one last tissue, and Lily blew her nose gratefully as he stood up to open the door. With a flick of her wand, she cleared her face of any tearstains.

James jiggled the knob. "It's locked!" he exclaimed in a panic.

Lily rolled her eyes. "_Alohomora_," she recited, sliding past James. "Wizard, duh?"

"Oh, yeah."

They emerged at the very moment that the corny wedding deejay announced, "And joining the lucky couple is the wedding party!"

Lily sighed in resignation and pulled James onto the dance floor.

"You know how to dance?" she inquired.

James looked alarmed. "Uh… no."

"Hm. Neither do I."

So they spun about stupidly for about a minute before abandoning the concept of organised movement altogether, opting instead to just stand and sway.

"_Lily!_" a voice hissed next to them, and she turned to see Petunia. "Why aren't you in your dress?"

Lily shrugged, pointing to her ear and pretending the music was too loud for her to hear Petunia. James snorted.

"You seem to be in your dress, Lily," he commented. "Though that could easily be changed."

Lily beat his shoulder lightly. "How uncouth. It's a wonder I even brought you here."

The song changed, and everyone was free to swarm the dance floor. "Yay what a pretty dance how wonderful," Lily mock-gushed, swerving around people to evacuate the vicinity. James was swallowed up by a few of what had to be Lily's cousins, judging by the hair colour.

Lily hadn't noticed, though, and rejoined Clara at the same table as before. "It's ghastly, isn't it, dancing," she huffed, sitting down.

"You two looked awfully cosy," Clara demurred, grinning sneakily at Lily. Lily stuck her tongue out at her, looking out the open hall doors.

"Hey, I'm going outside. You wanna come?"

Clara shook her head. "Nah. I'm waiting for the food."

"Of course," Lily giggled, and walked toward the moon.

The night was serene, stars dotting the sky around the half-moon. Lily took a deep breath of clear air, making her way toward a lake she spied near the rear of the building. Ducks floated about, creating ripples in the luminescent surface. Sitting at the shore, Lily felt at peace.

Fifteen minutes must have passed before Lily heard footsteps behind her, as well as giggling. "Decided to join me, then?" she asked, turning around. Clara and Lily's cousin Elaine broke into a run.

"That boy you're with?" Elaine started. "Is he from school?"

"Yes," Lily replied, perplexed.

"Well, he's been roving the whole reception hall, asking about you," Clara gushed.

"And?" Lily wasn't entirely sure what the point was.

"He's coming out here."

Lily stared blankly at the two, before hissing, "_Go!_"

Clara shushed Elaine's squeals as they went around the building, leaving Lily alone.

More footsteps crunched along the dirt, and Lily stood up, brushing off the back of her dress.

"Here you are," James said, giving her a once-over. "Are you cold?"

Lily shook her head, but James was already taking off his suit jacket.

"Thanks," she muttered, holding the sides around her. They stood in complacent silence for a moment, watching the ducks on the water.

"You know that old wedding superstition, about something old, new, borrowed and blue?" James broke the silence.

"Did you take Muggle Studies?" Lily asked in surprise.

"Until fifth year, yeah." James grinned. "Well, now you've got something old – my jacket - " Lily was smiling now – "something new, your dress, and something blue." James took her hand, holding up her left pinky finger; the nail polish was still a vivid cerulean. "You missed one."

Lily sheepishly took her hand back. "And something borrowed? What have I got?" She slid her arms through the jacket sleeves.

James looked into her eyes for a whole beat before swallowing and saying hoarsely, "My heart. If you'll have it."

Lily opened her mouth to respond, her eyes wide with surprise, but James went on. "This summer has been terrific. Three letters from you a week? In the past, I could only hope for maybe a glance from you once we were back at school.

"And now today – Merlin, Lily, today's been perfect." Lily was staring at her feet, but James cupped her chin in his hand and tilted it up to meet his eyes. He took a breath, about to say more, but Lily wouldn't let him. On tiptoes, she leaned up so her mouth met his.

The kiss was sweet and simple, yet so gratifying to Lily that she could hardly stand it. She pulled back (a little too quickly for James' liking, it seemed) and laughed into the still night air, twirling around in a carefree circle.

James laughed with her and pulled on her hand, stopping her mid-spin, and pulled her in for another kiss, this one deep and meaningful.

"You know," James said, holding Lily close to him, "that jacket looks an awful lot better on you than me."

They made their way back inside, Lily saying, "This all feels so strange. I haven't had to be on my guard for any pranks or practical jokes today."

The guests were all crowded about Petunia and Vernon, who were licking frosting off the top of the tiered cake. A moment before Vernon laid the knife to the dessert, it burst outward, producing a very cakey individual.

"CONGRATULATIONS!" Sirius Black bellowed, frosting dripping down his hair.

Petunia's gasp of horror was drowned out by her sister's uncontrollable peals of laughter echoing off the stone walls of the hall.

"I thought she'd like her wedding to be memorable," Sirius explained at James' questioning look, licking icing off his finger.

**This was all completely spur-of-the-moment. Over 3000 words. This is officially the longest fic I've ever written.**

**I just knew I had to put Sirius in after the pixie comment outside of the photographer's room. XD**


End file.
